pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize