He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
