Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
