ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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