If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
