it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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