This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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