We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
