I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
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Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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