Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
