kristin has been a bad kristin
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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