Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We just shotgunned beers for America
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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