I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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