would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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