There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
