Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize