That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
