...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
