I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've blown a few things in my day
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
