They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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