id be glad to
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
