dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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