Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
