let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
