So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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