And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
