What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
