if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize