yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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