Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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