I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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