so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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