I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
