I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
