Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize