I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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