I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
