I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize