Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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