I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
