My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
