i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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