We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
