she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
