I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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