I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's never too late to be topless.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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