Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
