So drunk its hurt
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize