Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
