i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
