Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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