Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think my moral compass just broke
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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