First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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