i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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