i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I supernannyed him into submission
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
