I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
