508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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