listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
