whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
