i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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