I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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