Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
