I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
