bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's just like the Real World with babies
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
