Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize